Few things kill the mood faster than bringing up the inheritance. Just generally speaking, anything financial-related, even how you’re making money through real estate is mostly considered a taboo topic, right? But assets and inheritance, that’s even higher up there. It’s right up there with asking your parents about their dating life or reminding your siblings about that embarrassing phase they had in high school. Nobody wants to talk about what happens after a loved one passes, but ignoring it is how families end up in court, screaming at each other over a coffee table.
But the truth is, not having the conversation doesn’t stop the problem from happening. It just makes sure that, when the time comes, there’s confusion, tension, and way too much money being wasted on legal fees.
So how do you bring up the inheritance talk without it feeling like a funeral before the funeral?
Timing is Everything
Okay, sure, this is not a conversation for the Thanksgiving dinner table. Nothing says “family bonding” like debating who gets grandma’s house while passing the mashed potatoes. The best time is during a calm, private moment when nobody is stressed, distracted, or halfway through a glass of wine.
Instead of making it awkward, ease into it. Something like, “Hey, I know this isn’t the most fun topic, but I just want to make sure everything is set up the way you want it.” Well, maybe not this exact example, but softening it while still pointing out that it’s awkward can at least help.
Why? Well, this way, it doesn’t feel like you’re waiting for an inheritance payout. It feels like you’re helping them get things in order, which is exactly what this conversation is about.
Make It About Them
It was mentioned just above, but it helps to just mention it again. So, nothing shuts down an inheritance talk faster than making it sound like a cash grab. So, the goal is to avoid stress, not cause more of it. Instead of saying, “So, what’s in the will?” (which sounds awful and hopefully no one ever does), try something like, “I just want to make sure things are clear so that later on, there’s no confusion or stress on the family.”
This approach works because it’s about making life easier for them, not about what anyone is getting. It prevents messy legal issues later on, which nobody wants to deal with. It also respects their decisions, rather than making it seem like you’re plotting an inheritance heist.
Sort Out the Big Things Before They Become Big Problems
Now, a huge chunk of inheritance drama comes from property. Sure, money is a major one, but it’s property that’s the biggest of them all. So, that old family home? The vacation cabin? The rental property nobody can agree on?
Well, these can cause absolute chaos if nobody sorts out who gets what. In this case, when you’re having the discussion with them, try and have a conversation about a quit claim deed. Basically, getting one won’t 100% prevent fights once they pass on, but it’s significantly more manageable. It allows property owners to officially transfer ownership ahead of time, which means no battles over who has the strongest emotional attachment to a house.
One Talk Isn’t Enough
One awkward conversation isn’t enough. You have to keep in mind that life changes, financial situations shift, and a will from ten years ago might not match what needs to happen today. So, the best way to avoid drama is to check in from time to time.
